Clearing

This evening I've been working on an analogy. Creating analogies is a pastime of mine. Poor Nath often walks in from another room only to have me pounce on him (not in a good way) and say "You know, [insert current bugbear] is like [insert witty analogy, although more often a long and rambling mixture of words and emotions], don't you think?" He always agrees, but I think its more fear and a desire to get away... Anyhoo. Tonight I will share my analogy with you all. Because you need to hear more about MDD. So it goes like this...

You're at the top of a mountain. Its taken you every ounce of energy you have to get to the top of the mountain. There are other people there with you and you are all looking out at the most breathtakingly beautiful view imaginable. Everyone else seems to be enjoying the experience. They think you are too because you're saying all the right things and smiling. You know its beautiful. And you've struggled to get up there (you tripped over a branch root and landed on your arse. You sat and cried until some others helped you up). You know you're amazingly lucky to be seeing it. But. The wind is so loud and so strong that it seems to be filling your head. And its cold. And its overcast. So while you can appreciate that the view is great, there is so much else going on that you can't really see it.

Then you take some lovely [prescription] drugs.*


And the wind dies down, the sun comes out a little and it begins to warm up. You can see more detail in the view below, and the people around you. You begin to hear the birds and noises of nature. You can think and feel again. You can take in the whole picture and see what everyone else has been seeing. On the way back down the mountain you trip over a rock - and its no big deal. Just a little stumble. You get up, brush yourself off and keep going. Perhaps whistling Glee tunes as you go...

So that's where I am now. Its only day three, I don't want to get my hopes up too much, but the view is definitely better!




* Lets not go into the pros and cons of meds. Or the withdrawal from one med, the anguish of the days post withdrawal, or the blinding headaches and insomnia that accompany the new ones.