In the midst of the end of year postings all around (one of which I'm dying to post) I would like to put a 'Happy Birthday' out into the ether for my beautiful little man Paterson, who turned 1 today.
I was frightened at having a boy. I didn't want to find out the sex because if it were male I didn't want my first reaction to my second child to be disappointment. I wanted a sister for Lil so she would have the relationship that I have with my sister. I didn't know what to do with a boy. Please don't bother pointing out all the logic flaws with this - I'm well aware of them. I was only a little sad when he was born, but only because Nathan hadn't decided against calling our son 'Paterson' as I had hoped he would (love you bub!).
But let me tell you, I could not love Paddy any more if I tried. He is a constant source of delight. His beautiful blue eyes light up when he smiles. He giggles uncontrollably at Lily's attempts at slapstick. He squeals when the 'kissing monster' gets him. He loves tackling and rough-housing - although his penchant for biting isn't making him a popular playmate at present. He eats like a child possessed. No one is safe while eating near him. He loves to bury his head in pillows. He loves to stand on all fours and look between his legs while resting on his head on the ground. He talks and goos and points at everything. He loves opening draws and closing doors. He loves de-furring Rosie the cat. He loves to push things - cars, vacuum cleaners, doorstops... Now he has teeth he loves making noise with his tongue against his teeth. And blowing raspberries. And of course biting. I love how he now deliberately puts his arm up around me neck; not just to hold on to me, but for a hug. And I kind of like that he still prefers to come to me when he's sad. Makes me feel needed, you know?
Anyhoo, I wrote this more for myself than anything. You say you'll remember this amazing spectacular moment in their lives - but then the next amazing spectacular moment comes along to replace it*.
So, Happy Birthday little man.
And Happy New Year to the rest of you; I'm a new year's eve grinch (which is why the universe made me have a child on NYE) so I'll think of you at 9.10 when I'm snuggled up in bed.
*(except that I will always remember Lil saying 'Mum, when you die and I get older, can I wear your marrying dress?' a couple of days ago...)